Disunited States of Bohemia: Professor Chaos

It must have been around the time of Ethan's second birthday that he became known less as "Pooh Bear" and more as "Professor Chaos." Although every bit as charming as ever, his inner rascal manifests with increasing regularity, performing his crayon 'art' on every conceivable surface, running in the opposite direction when called, turning on the stove or, more embarrassingly, pulling other children's hair. The latter has tested my diplomatic skills to their limit following his various contretemps at the local playgrounds; with my haircut and accent their first assumption is that I am training him to become some form of "soccer hooligan," one of the many aspects of British culture to have permeated the American psyche, along with bowler hats, BSE and tea with the Queen. A stiff talking to and a trip to the naughty step seem only to egg him on unfortunately; we are at something of a loss, although others assure us that it is a 'phase'. For the most part, however, Professor Chaos remains delightful company.

For Ethan's birthday I arranged a trip aboard Thomas the Tank Engine at Mount Hood Railroad. Although well intentioned, this was not all that I had hoped it would be; sticking a fake Thomas engine on the front of a diesel train and a set of carriages that make the dilapidated Hastings - Ashford rolling stock look like the Orient Express is not what the Rev Awdry had in mind. It did not help matters that it must have been 100°F that day. Poor Pooh Bear!